- #Oops i crapped my pants snl transcript movie#
- #Oops i crapped my pants snl transcript update#
- #Oops i crapped my pants snl transcript tv#
“This Monday was opening day for the new Major League Baseball season, and ‘Reopening of Old Wounds’ Day for Mets fans.” Play “And you’re like, ‘But you’re the one driving!’” Play
#Oops i crapped my pants snl transcript movie#
“‘You know, I wish you wouldn’t say crazy shit all the time.’ And you’re fighting for another two hours, and eventually it’s like the movie Inception: There’s a fight, within a fight, within a fight, and somewhere the two of you are in a van falling off a bridge in slow motion. And then, you ever fight so long you just end up fighting about the fight you’re having? The original argument’s over, you think you’re out of the woods, and then she’s like, ‘You know, I wish you wouldn’t get so frustrated when we fought.’ “We fought for an hour and a half about a stranger we would never see again. “She’s like, ‘Why are you defending her?!?!’ She was holding her shoes in her hand, and my girlfriend was like, ‘Well, she’s dumb and drunk.’ One day, my girlfriend and I were walking down the street, and we saw a girl walking down the street barefoot.
It’s never like, ‘No, this is the cause of slavery.’ It’s just the stupidest shit in the world. “We would fight all the time, and when you’re fighting with the person you’re dating, it’s never anything important. You wake up in the morning, you’re like, ‘(Yawn) WHY WON’T YOU TRY SUSHI?!?’ Just right into it. “Have you ever been in a relationship where the default setting is you’re fighting? Like at rest, you’re fighting.
#Oops i crapped my pants snl transcript tv#
It just said, ‘I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THIS BARBERSHOP, AND I AM NEVER GOING!” I was like, ‘Cool, keep us posted.’” Play 14 His National Television Debutįor his comedy, at least - he did have one national TV credit before this, as a contestant on The Weakest Link in 2002, which he lost in the final round: Play One star.’ I went to get my hair cut the other day, and I typed in this barbershop and this was the review that came up: One-star review, all caps. They told me a room there was $300! Do you think I can afford a $300 hotel room? Do you know how many times I’ve been divorced? Photos of the lobby look pretty cool. One star.’ For a hotel it’s like, ‘I called up this so-called hotel. It’s like, ‘I was eating at Cafe Honduras, and that’s where I found out my cat had committed suicide. Look at any one-star review, it’s unrelated to the business they’re reviewing.
If you give something one star, that’s about you. “I honestly feel that if you hate a place, the worst review you can give it is two stars. We’d also highly recommend his book, A Very Punchable Face: A Memoir, not just because it offers many brilliant behind-the-scenes stories from SNL, but because we’ll recommend any book with chapter titles like “Okay, So Maybe I’ve Shit My Pants A Couple Times” and “Oops, I Fell Asleep in A Graveyard.”īut before you head off to your local library to (literally) check it out, here are 15 Colin Jost jokes and moments worthy for the Hall of Fame. His frequent Joke Swaps with Michael Che and letting Sarah Sherman mercilessly roast him being prime examples.
#Oops i crapped my pants snl transcript update#
What’s made Jost’s work on Weekend Update singular is his willingness to be the butt of the joke. Just last year, he broke the longest-serving Weekend Update anchor record previously held by Seth Meyers, with Jost’s current co-anchor (and co-head writer) Michael Che just nine episodes behind him for that honor. Colin Jost has been a writer for Saturday Night Live since 2005 and behind the Weekend Update anchor’s desk since 2014.
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